Especially when life stings we ought to be fearless with forgiveness. Such as a bee is not present to consciously inflict hurt, but sometimes does. Often the thrashing turmoil of our fear of the bee results in pain, as the confused bee protects itself and the hive to sting us. Unknowingly, the famed honeybee even sacrifices its life when it stings you. On some such infliction is misery or near fatal, while others have temporary discomfort. I know many people who are very afraid of bees. For as many times as I was stung as a child, I remain confident around bees. Much of my fearlessness for these flying marvels has been practice on my part due to studying up on bees life bearing significance. I trust the science that shows we will perish without the pollination process of bees.
Forgiveness is the very beginning and the ending. When we begin to forgive we simultaneously motivate an ending to our troubles. In forgiving we establish space. When we generate more room inside ourselves, we activate an openness. Whether your torment is within you or what you experience outside your self, it surrounds to fill pockets of our perception. In the face of darkness and brutality lies a monster we all know too well. There is a beast set loose in our creation. Mentality conceives boundless imagination. We invent our worst harms by having a powerful mind. As fierce as the fear, my wish for you — for us — is to tenaciously tame the inner animal with the grace of forgiveness.
But who am I to preach? I sit wallowing in a pool (by a real pool) in sweltering heats, with palpable stillness or thunderbolts the most regular echoes of days passing by. I crave the instincts of my own history when time wasn’t my anticipated enemy. I taste the luxury of bodies melting together and psyche soaring from a richness of communications with no end in sight. I want to be more, feel more, do more. Yet, the hours tick, the dogs lick, and I don’t feel I’ve contributed or dared enough. I long to be gossiped about for my excellence. Once, or likely much more than once, I’ve been gossiped about for my wildness. Within that wildness, I am still unfolding as the creature to which this earth divined me. Until my soul fully connects the pace of my thinking mind with my being mind I will continue to exhibit failures. All these suppositions and facts fall easily into the well of forgiveness.
Forgiving begins with yourself. What you want to think may serve you in vices, disharmony or angst is best bundled as an energy of a matter. Lasting words, works, businesses, art, union, life itself are far greater rewards and even legacies to the uninitiated. Yet, I’ve learned wisdom from my fleeting despair. I’ve built armor to fight the real and perceived distresses of my life. As passionately as I’ve ever embraced a lover, I now aim to wear that passion to crush adversity. While I find the killing of others an abuse of humanity, I seek to kill the suffering aesthetic. My noble heed is dreaming of a new way for self. With every dawn, I ask forgiveness of myself.
To forgive is to love. Too many times I’ve studied with growing vexation the person who looks back at me in the mirror. Yet, I know this woman is a stunner. On the happiest of days, I get lost in my own eyes or counting the freckles for as if rare constellations the angels provoked to map the answers to the universe. It is illogical how quickly I falter to critique the minuscule and monumental aspects of me. I fail to be patient. I wander too far from gentleness. We are not machines! As well, not all mechanics can be fixed. For what is fixing anyway, but a recalibration of an already working thing. This is the point. By existing, we are a beautiful working thing. By simply being we are worthy. By loving we are set free.
Forgiving others lies at the opposing end of the spectrum as a tidy bookend. Once we master a daily mantra of self-forgiveness, we uncork the gridlock of capacity to forgive anyone else. I am an acutely sentient and empathic individual. I just came out that way. I am even inclined to forgive way more often than many counselors have stated is best for me. There is a healthy boundary between forgiveness and forgetfulness, where remembering the wrongs perpetrated by or upon you helps prevent future repetition. While that is so, I still swear by forgiving. Insanely bad things have happened to me in my life. Havoc-wreaking by others towards me has been real. However, I’ve survived it all. I know people who’ve faced much worse than I, and ones who’ve not been so lucky with their lives. Most of my instances I could have navigated from with greater awareness in the moment. All I credit to forgiveness in blossoming the person who writes before you today.
A dear friend shared this poem excerpt which resonates a handsome voltage for me on topic. (NOTE: I often substitute ‘her’ for ‘him’ and ‘men’ for ‘women’, or as such, when reading to imply my own recognition in deeply effective writing):
“Hunger was constitutional with him,
Women, cigarettes, liquor, need need need
Until he went to pieces.
The pieces sat up & wrote…”
Please forgive yourself. Please forgive others. When you find you’re breaking into pieces, dismembered and bristling from the wounds of the world, rise up. Rumination is a rousing friend. Piece together a venomous attack on the barrage of noise bringing you down. Ask for support anytime you need it. Gather your molecules and get back to the sum of your spectacular parts. Make disappear the gap, where once distant shores become common waters in which you luxuriate. Pivot from fear to fearless. Forgive with candor and quiet your chaos. One daily phrase I like to say: “I’m a fearless forgiveness warrior!” Louise Hay offers a beautiful list of affirmations for forgiveness, or creatively craft your own.
The proximity of fearless and forgiveness is liberating. Let fearless forgiveness freedom ring!