Endeavoring Evanescence
Be the rainbow. Aim to maintain your miraculous glow, even when surrounded with pulls to be like another, pushed to fit in the box of so-and-so’s that have come too many times before us, or hoodwinked into thinking we’d be better off as another version of ourself due to someone else’s conception of what works as their concoction far from undertakings we know we prefer. That authentically bright array of light that arcfully appears miraculously out of thin air to dazzle us with multi-colored hues only to dissipate from whence it came delivers a visual lesson for me. No matter the amount of personal evanescence we allow during an evolutionary path, all may endeavor to reclaim their truth over and again. It is the action of aspiring not to fade away from our essence that defines a life fulfilled.
We are so accustomed to disguising our true nature from others, that we end up disguising it from ourselves. ~La Rochefoucauld
Much of me whittles away from my core quite easily. Maybe you can relate. As a carer, I nurture as readily as the mixture of rain and sun sweep rainbows into view. Therefore, my ability to become what is needed for the sake of someone else, a project or motive, is a constant inner debate I face to decide where I am in the midst of any choice. I must slow myself down enough to remember to think if there is room for me in the movement of a moment. I might still conclude I’m giving over all of me for the sake of another, Mother Teresaing my way with utter selflessness at times. Linking to the liking of accepting who I am in the best slice of me continues to unfold as my optimal optimist venture. Hyper-focused on happiness, I recycle patience daily in my search for aligning my why with whom, where, what, and how I carve my trail with fewer tears of pain than those of joy.
Inviting shame to slumber peacefully helps heaps. The sooner we develop a dialogue around our darkest nature we liberate the strain in order to make use of it. All bad things summon our will to ripen. Every good element insists we knew there was much more than a simplicity to grin and bear it all. Our time is of exertion to tempt fate for spiking our space as the specks of gold float down our throats in a warm tingly Goldschläger shot. This entire enterprise of living is far from merely a faded memory lost in time. You being here, now, reading this passage in the passing of time is less transience than permanence of expression. What we do with each enunciation of time is a private communication between us and our true selves. Do you hold fast to break your own boundaries, or keep your word? Are you emphasizing your potential or lending it to the whims of another’s poor intent?
My favorite channel isn’t on television or online so much as it’s a satiated awareness that clicked on inside me way back when and has never turned off since. I’d chuck the remote to the deepest seas should I ever come by it. I wish to guard this protected intelligence forever. I know when I am true to me. Just as I recognize when I’m comprising myself. The act of granting a vanishing of my best interests always results in a karmic kick in the butt. Sometimes those moves knock me clear off my feet. At no time have I been able to ignore the urges of the universe if I’m loosening my grip on me entirely. Health, career, love, abundance, and all their cousins might start crashing loudly around me if I’m failing to feed them well enough. It may be odd that suffering gets our attention, but the human condition responds instinctively to wake-up calls.
There is a persistence in living that appears we must sacrifice in death. Instead, I’ve glommed onto the ghostly attributes of that ethereal aura of being eternal. Within our design to find and preserve an individual purpose is our purpose itself. When we connect we no longer linger in the possibility of pure disappearance one day. For in joining ourselves with others or other things, we stunt the idea of evanescence onslaught. Because you know of me then I feel I am not forgotten. When you stop attending to me, I rely on the network of relations I’ve made beyond you. My family who are charmed by me, dear friends, budding relationships, maybe prior lovers, the favored animals I’ve watched lovingly, the plants I’ve brought back to life, or those professionals with whom I’ve created reach the root of me. Therein, any burden has an outlet to evaporate through their love. While fears of losing myself melt away.
What does not kill us can make us stronger. When we are stronger we have more superpowers to show up to shine our stellar best. Maybe this is the very ancient practice of why is life. To be without failing to be all that you want to be. Shall we lighten our load to capture the ephemeral fancy of being gifted such life at all? To learn, to grow, some reaching for or teaching about stars, grabbing a few, hurling daggers, fighting animals or demons, the lifting of so many of our hearts, patience piled atop more sandwiches of patience, along with sprigs of plucky pleasure protruding in cracks, crevices, and darting across every laughing mouth I’ve ever seen. Memories are the placeholders that we may mellow against the evanescence effects.
Our love is real, Not Fade Away.
