Jonzing for Rays

4 min readAug 13, 2021
Goddess Against Glare, Selfie on the shores of ENJOYing THE MAUI LIFE

Unearthing our gravy isn’t always second nature. Often, our bolts of brilliance are snared following a catapult toward inexperience or immaturity. Life kicks your bum with a posture of gripping fury that makes vertical seem sideways. Knocked up (and not in that cooing babe coming down the pipeline kinda mode), we forget to elongate our reach of appreciation. One day you’re humming along to surf tunes and charming turtle gurgles as you’re strumming that floaty hovering of some Pacific rollers, seafoam burbling at your back. Then, suddenly, you’re counting the minutes until sunset so you know it’s safer to exit the building for a peek at the cloud art or an aquatic dip sans the sledgehammer of skin-cancer-free scruples crying you a new river. Typecast as ‘endlessly jonzing for rays’ has angled me on an enduring quest for pillars of optimism.

Each joy feels like a threat:
Although there’s beauty everywhere,
its shadow is regret. ~
Kae Tempest, The Point, from Hold Your Own

In this case, looking on the ‘bright’ side happens to result in the hotly debated malignancy menace creeper surpassing the ruin beyond just my little ole livelihood. For all the warmth, glow, or provisions I’ve taken from the luminary beast blazing happy trails in our sky it doesn’t ask anything of me. Nevertheless, I’m acting in accord with a mournful Juliet (minus the fully dead characteristic). I want to trust that sunlight is not trying to break my heart. In risqué admittance, I’ve had an affair with the night going on for quite a while too. In complete wholeness, I perceive that we’re a carefree polyamorous trio who’s remarkably groovy at threesomes. From morning through the evening we’ve usually blended together fondly. The pair cohabitate with me, with every one of us, from dawn through dusk without ever theatrically toying they may leave. Come to think of it, they’re the most loyal relationships I’ve probably ever experienced.

Realization of one’s gratefulness layers is classically trained through copious iterations of inadequacy. The undesirable death of my long-held sun worship ways keeps hitting me in big, fat, clobbering-me-all-cockeyed waves. Ahhh, that roll of the ocean’s top undulating as an expert lover each crest to fall within the panorama of meeting soleil’s glistening kisses over and again. Fending off my…


LOVER of life. Especially people, places, philanthropy, pondering, and photography.