Loss leads with a legacy of striking generosity. I like this title because it drew me into an assumption and I already knew the subject was meant to catch you off-guard. Very seldom do we accept loss smoothly. The idea of inheritance comes with the presumption of benevolence. Maybe we’re obtaining a financial trust, property, valuable artwork, diamonds, or all kinds of goodies. But, tucked in the folds of every single loss is the decency of life premiums far beyond the material sector. Largely sitting unawares and rather shy of the masses, all losses offer astonishing subsidies of self-improvement. Each of us may earn gratuities if you’re capable to seize the compassionate gifts inherited within losing.
Grief does not change you, Hazel. It reveals you. ~John Greene, The Fault in Our Stars
It hasn’t ever mattered the size, timing, nor purpose of any loss I’ve encountered. In hindsight, and on rare occasion readily, the new absence of this remarkable person, drawing, a piece of jewelry, job, or significance stumbles me headstrong into the contours of confessing levels of myself I can always use to strengthen. Appeasing a loss predicament merely sets up a flaunting of our floundering. We’ve all been there. Wrapped in enormous grieving, our drama sticks to us like sap from a pine tree hug. We know we can remove it. Yet, it’s one heck of a process. Like most actions, the undertaking requires a collection of efforts many deem hard to come by.
Losing ought not be focused on recoupment so much as repair, refurbishing, realignment, and renewal. Look upon your loss less of an endurance contest than an accomplished medal-winning marathon of merit. To swallow the whole of a loss and affirm none of it was in vain beckons soul work. While it took me half my current years (that’s about twenty-five in numerical digits) to thoroughly accept the hospitality of self-work, I know no other way forward with peace, ease, and the expose of numerous other buoyant adjectives. The exercise of loss has skillfully made me more proficient in birthing healthy relationships. I’ve garnered a dexterity for the powers of listening, appreciation, communication, and a wealth of many more attributes. Do you prefer to remain ever as you are, or does evolution befit you as well as the planetary whole?
If I died tonight I think I would like to come back as your morning coffee. Just as strong and just as necessary. ~Tyler Knott Gregson, Chasers of the Light: Poems from the Typewriter Series
Instead, loss presents positive challenges by divulging the spaces between wanting, wallowing, wishing, and wondering to fill them with quality contributions to a better way of being with ourselves and those around us. Loss gazes at you longingly in hopes to convey that navigating your crushing moments with intention procures a more worthwhile you. Mainly, whenever I’ve ‘suffered’ a loss, the later stage settles in where I’m able to think back to see a silhouette of what’s missing while absorbing the enormity of inspiration that’s fallen in my lap from allowing the manifestation of learning from a loss. Be willing to slog through the shivers and sweat that come with collecting losses. Know there is and search for the provision that is all yours.
Loss donates a loving component to the painful shards a loss shapes. The strands of loss are actually like layers of an inviting cake. If we gobble too fast or too much similar to a competitive eater, yet without training, we’re likely to endure a tummy ache in the least or disease from bulimia to basic purging. None of this is healthy. Although, a loss is never seeking to incapacitate us permanently and produce immobility. Any pecking away you may feel with loss is a function of concrete evidence to fix those potholes. Open oneself to smearing your losses with a slathering of graceful cooperation of self goodwill. Without loss, we will not transform.
Let yourself gain inside the loving language of endowments from loss.