The Integral Heart

A Piece of My Heart, X-ray of BradensEye’s heart

Our hearts are the centerpiece for prosperity. A healthy ticker keeps us alive and thereby allows the free flow of luxuriating in love, along with all elements of activity spread through body and brain. Typically, I look forward to annual happiest hearts day — Valentine’s Day. It’s an excuse for me to have any of my usual effervescent smiles or hugs returned more readily. I’m enamored by watching couples in public displays of affection. I see my old self while picturing my future self in similar flights of passion. All around, I find people wearing their hearts on their sleeves. They are walking advertisements for making the most of fine-tuned pumping heartbeats.


/ˈˌɡo͝od ˈˌhärdəd/


kind or generous; considerate; benevolent.

Heartistic expressions are indispensable for keeping joy tucked in your life corner. Being good-hearted ought to have been the basis for more of my loving history. Be that as it may, I’ll deem myself normal to share I contrived a series of train wrecks before trying on a persona that alights the heart in a more comely manner. Born with an intense ability to be open about my body led me down paths both pleasurable and wrought with conflicting contemplations. Everything I’ve historically experienced with an intimate partner became fuel for a brilliant and disturbing reflection of self. I needed to reflect a heart-filled loving sense of self. But, I also had to examine my appetite of choices in whom did I give my heart and all the other parts that come with it. An eloquent heart of the matter pertains to ‘The female price of male pleasure’, so geniusly laid out in this article link. What it comes (pun intended) to for me is a conscious desire that started leading the sexual desire. I no longer wanted useless, tear-jerking, unfilled, disconnected, quick and dirty sensual encounters.

Have a heart that never hardens, and a temper that never tires, and a touch that never hurts. ~ Charles Dickens, Hard Times

This year, in preparation for love day celebration, I kept catching myself puzzling over the extent to which I’ve been without an intimate partner to share the frothy and filthy bits of my existence. I know it’s normal to crave connection when it’s missing. I’m grateful many days for the sanity I retain only having to contend with my nuances instead of competing with challenges that may appear when in a committed relationship. All the same, my ambition to use my heart, share it, and deliver the goods beyond myself blooms constantly. Only it has taken on this contextual meaning of a lone flower in the mountain peaks of a Nepalese reach looking down upon all the beauty wondering why it’s dancing alone so much.

Just another femme fatale racking up a current number of 862 since lingering with the notion of consummation of heart-stringing things. Translation — the number of days amounting to a good couple years and change since I’ve had sexual penetration to thump my heart thoroughly while aiming to establish a long-term partnership. Consciously chosen, but painstakingly woven to be without cozy Cupid’s warm embraces. Luckily, I’ve hitherto felt the kind of heartcore (less hardcore, save the devoted yummy bits of say a Fifty Shades of Grey series) loving and sexing I want. I’ve seen it’s for real. My more confident current self knows the requirements of elegance, taking ample time to explore, and the depth of wandering through another’s body, mind, and soul all at once. I merely haven’t located that beautiful human who wants to sustain it with me… yet.

Waiting on anything is not for the faint of heart. I cannot begin to tell you how often I’ve wavered. My vibrant past peppered with straggling memories bullying their way to the front of my thoughts in an attempt to burst the carbonation from my bubbly personality. However, you can mend, heal, and repair broken hearts. You can count on your heart during hard times. So what that two years in my late forties of my entire heart-bending career is missing intercourse. I trust the lack of literal thrusting in my life is God’s choice to keep less-opportune options out of my way, especially that I secured more than a plethora previously. The essential movements of light-hearted happiness bring the vim and vigor of appropriately lusty ways well in tow when you’ve managed to stop stealing from your own best heart. Lend yourself all the healthy you can muster. Give yourself whatever length of time it takes to follow your heart to those people and things enthusiastically receiving it.

Wherever you go, go with all your heart. ~ Confucius

May you ever uphold the integral value your heart sings.



LOVER of life. Especially people, places, philanthropy, pondering, and photography.

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store

LOVER of life. Especially people, places, philanthropy, pondering, and photography.